As I sit here, roughly 4 weeks away from having my second child, I find myself thinking of how this whole journey began. So I thought I'd share with you how our dream of becoming parents came true!
Kyle and I began praying for a child of our own about a year after we were married. We waited patiently each month, and each month we were sadly disappointed. We knew that we had a heart to be parents and felt that God was saying, "Not yet." It was hard to hear and eventually I got to the point where I refused to take a pregnancy test. I was tired of seeing only one pink line, or even worse, the words, "not pregnant." Nearly two years after we decided we were ready to be parents, we saw two pink lines instead of one. I remember all day my mom trying to convince me to take a test and finally, when Kyle got home that evening I decided to take one...just to see. I was standing in the bathroom and my eyes started watering as I watched the lines come into focus. Kyle, seeing me crying and thinking that I had another negative test, quickly rushed to my side to comfort me. Before he got there I held out the test and watched as he stood in stunned silence. Finally he asked, "Why are there two lines...what does this mean?" I simply responded, "I think I'm pregnant."
And in June of 2009, a few months after we celebrated our third wedding anniversary, we welcomed Finley Rose Davis into the world. She was born on Kyle's chosen day, which is the day his adoption became official. How cool is that? Our lives have been totally transformed and we are amazed at how much joy this silly, fun-loving, outgoing, smiling, beautiful babe has brought into our lives.
I know our "struggle" for nearly two years to become parents was not really a struggle when compared to the countless other parents who struggle for years and years. When talking to others, trying for a year seems quite normal. We have so many friends that have suffered from infertility and I don't want this post to seem insensitive. In fact, Kyle's parents struggled to become parents for years before choosing Kyle as their son by adoption. We also have a heart for adoption, especially since Kyle's father was adopted, as well as his grandmother. My grandfather was also adopted and my step-grandfather was raised in an orphanage. We are praying if that is something God wants for us in the future.
Fast forward 7 months. It was a cold January morning, yet I woke up in a sweat. I had just had a dream that had my mind reeling. In my dream, I had spontaneously taken a pregnancy test and to my surprise it was positive. I quickly told my family and was shocked at all the negative response I got. In my dream my parents were in disbelief; they kept saying, "How could you get pregnant, Finley is still just a baby." Everyone we told gave us harsh looks and stern words...what a crazy dream!
I woke up a little, well, FREAKED OUT! I remember thinking, oh my, what if I really was pregnant. That would be insane. I mean I had a barely 7 month old and was starting the spring semester in three days. There was no way I was pregnant, I mean we had tried for almost two years to become pregnant with Finley...I just couldn't be pregnant. I jumped out of bed and decided to take a test just to ease my mind. Kyle was about to head out to work and Finley (who had moved from our bed to her crib only the month before) was snoozing soundly in the next room. I went into our bathroom and dug in the cabinet until I found a test. As I sat there, totally convinced I was about to see a negative sign, my heart stopped as instead, I saw a plus sign.
I sat there for a second, or a million seconds, and then started yelling for Kyle. He ran into the room and I shoved the test in his face. I started pacing and shaking and spitting out random mutterings. My mind was going non-stop...I mean I had woken up right? Panicked, I called my mom. I remember I told her about 5 times, "Mom, I've got something to tell you, but you have to promise me you're not mad. Promise. Okay? You promise?" She kept reassuring me and finally I spluttered, "I think I'm pregnant."
She started laughing and said, "Why would I be mad? That's awesome!" I felt my heart start again as momma made it all better. I then called other family members and instead of stern, disappointing words, I was greeted with surprise and joy. Everyone was happy for us, although maybe a little shocked. That was okay though, because I was shocked for about 2 months.
My whole world changed with that dream, and with that blue plus sign. I felt God's calling to stay home with my kids--something I had always wanted to do. After the shock wore off, I began to get really excited at the idea of a second baby. I was so glad Finley was going to have a sibling, and even more excited to learn she was going to have a sister. We had always wanted a big family, and it seems we are on the right track!
And in four weeks our lives will once again change. There will be sleepless nights, endless crying, and the struggle to find balance with two kids. But bring it on. I really know now how fast little babies turn into little toddlers. My hope is to cherish each drool-filled moment. I am looking forward to holding a tiny newborn on my chest. To get to experience all the firsts again. I am excited about Finley having a sister. To see my husband fall in love with another tiny being. All of this has me anxiously awaiting our second little dream come true.
Through this amazing journey I've learned that truly God's timing is best. We had Finley at the perfect time. Through a series of blessings we were able to buy our first home a month before she arrived. Kyle had a better job with much better benefits. We were plugged into a church and had a strong circle of christian friends. All this would not have been the case had we gotten pregnant when we thought we were ready. God knew the right time He had appointed for us to be parents. We were taught to wait on Him, to trust in Him, and we grew closer as a couple through the experience.